Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
