Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
