Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
