i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize