if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
