it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize