i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
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