Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Randomize
