i don't like sucking hair
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
