What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
