lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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