Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
