wat bout pragnant strippers??
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
