I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
