You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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