Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
