its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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