we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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