he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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