You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
