I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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