I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
