You just made me feel so damn special
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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