the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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