Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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