You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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