your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
