that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
pray to the hookup gods
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
