she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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