Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
