Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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