my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
