Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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