i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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