dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Use "feeling words"
Yay
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize
