The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I DEMAND FORESKIN
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
