YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
