I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
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