last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
