In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
