i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Panties = found
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
