how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
