There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
