mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
