you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
