I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
