do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
