u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I think im going to throw up on grandma
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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