WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
She's the barista slut.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
MIDGETS
????
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize