I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
literally had 100 drinks last night.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize