my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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