u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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