Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Blow job season was short but glorious.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Randomize
