she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
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