three words: i give head
three words: not that well
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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