I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
