yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
