She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
