My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
